Weird Shi...er stuff :)

1. Is it good if a vacum really suck's?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he get the word's from?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boat's push there barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when were already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are "wise man" and "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so teriffic, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural? lol

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control if you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towles? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the botttle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when there is only one?

27. Christmas-What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

oh wait I got another one...WHY DOES THE DEPARTMENT OF TRUST HAVE ALL THEIR PENS CHAINED TO THE TABLE?

The World's Hardest Riddle

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.

Can you guess the riddle?

97 percent of Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but 84 percent of kindergarten students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less.